We’re Headed to Disney

Today I had planned to post “The Truth About Self Harm” but we are going to Disney this week.  It is supposed to be a week of wonder and magic.  I don’t want to curse it by posting about something so dark and morose.  This week will be a good one.  I refuse to be under this dark cloud of gloom and doom right now.  This one is completely off the cuff so it won’t be anywhere near polished – please forgive me.

We will be celebrating my mother’s 70th year on this planet and she deserves the happiness.  We’ve had enough of the depression.  A year ago, my grandfather, one of the most wonderful men to have ever walked the planet left us to walk with Jesus.  It was hard for all of us.  It was especially hard on my mother.  Her mom has been suffering from dementia for quite some time and was confused even at the funeral thinking that it was her mother who had passed.  Mom called a few mornings ago and we talked about it all.  We cried.  We need some magic. 

Yes – we really need the magic and joy of Disney right now.  I truly am hoping that Ry has a great time.  I am beyond stressed that he will have a meltdown and not be able to handle all the people, but at the same time I am praying with all my heart that he will surprise me and succumb to the mysterious world of Disney and have the time of his life.  It would do my heart such good to see him laugh.

I’m also looking forward to seeing more members of the family.  My brother and his family will be there and my step sister along with her kids.  It will be fun and a much needed break from reality.  Unfortunately, Paix will not be able to join us as she is job hunting and has appointments that can’t be rescheduled.  But that’s grown up life for you.  It happens sometimes.

As bad as things have been lately, I am trying so hard to stay positive.  Trying to keep myself looking forward and up instead of down at the ground.  It’s really hard to see outside of your own little world when things seem so dismal.  Hard to focus on anything other than what is going on with you.  I’m going to try and get beyond that this week.  Going to try and pay attention to my family and my boys.  Going to try to get out of my shell because I know it is slowly killing me.

I’ve been to Disney before.  My dad and stepmom took my brother and me when we were younger.  I was in high school and my brother was in grade school.  We had a great time even though I was a disinterested teen.  Aidan is older but I know he’ll enjoy it.  It’s Disney!  What’s not to enjoy?!  I know he’s going to embarrass me with his hat fetish.  Aidan collects hats – the weirder the better.  He’s already asked if he could take Icarus – his squid hat that he got at the zoo a few years ago.  *sigh* I said no.  I’m sure he’ll find another hat there that’s just as annoying.  Can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

Ry.  Like I said earlier, I really, really, REALLY hope Ry enjoys himself.  We do have a back up plan in case he doesn’t.  My mom says she’ll take him back to the hotel so that I can still enjoy my time at the parks, but I don’t want that to happen.  I want him to stay and have fun.  I want him to be a part of the action and be a “normal” kid.  Or as “normal” as he can be.  He doesn’t get the opportunity to get out that much and I’d love for him to be a part of what others get to do.  What others get to experience.  It’s really important to me. It’s important for him!

So here we go!  Off on our adventure for the week!  Wish us luck!  Say a prayer!  I’ll fill y’all in later!

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