Being OK With Not Being OK – Is That Really OK?

Sitting around one day letting my mind wander, I came up with a question regarding mental health.  Is being ok with not being ok really ok?  It can be a confusing question so let me break it down for you.  Say my meds are working but I’m not really happy.  I’m not depressed.  Just kind of… eh.  I know I’m not well but go on with life as if it will pass or get better later.  Is that ok?  At this point in my life, I say “No, it’s not!”

There was a time when I would be just fine with letting life go by when I wasn’t feeling my best.  “It will pass, it always does” was my line of thinking.  But these days I’m more inclined to do something about it.  Life is getting shorter and I don’t want to waste it not feeling the best I know I can.

All this is not to say that I’m going to deny any of the feelings that I feel.  I’m not giving myself permission to put the “it’s all good” mask on.  We all should know that kind of thinking gets you even further down than to begin with.  My point is that instead of sitting back and feeling the bad feelings or not feeling at all, I’d rather fight to be better.  Work my butt off to get where I want to be emotionally

In other words – own your feelings but then work to not stay there.  I would argue that it’s not ok to just be ok either.  Who wants to be “just ok?”  I’d rather be deliriously happy!  So, it’s a constant journey to get there.  But how do you do that?  How do you get from “not ok” to deliriously happy?  That’s a question – isn’t it?!  If anyone could definitively answer that, the world would be a much different place!  But here’s some pointers to get you started…

  1. Admit that you’re not ok. Own it.  You can’t get better if you deny what you are really going through.  Be honest.  Brutally honest if you must.  Knowledge is power and knowing exactly what you are up against is the first step in beating it.
  2. Figure out where you want to be emotionally. Do you want to be “just ok” for now or do you want to shoot for the stars and go for deliriously happy?  You have to know where you’re going before you can figure out how to get there.
  3. Ask yourself what you can do right now to start you on that journey to feeling better. Is it as simple as taking a shower?  Or do you need to sit down and really plan a course of action?  Sometimes I’m so far down the black hole that the only thing I can do right then is start redirecting some of my thoughts.  Most of the time though it comes down to just getting up and moving – doing anything.
  4. Start setting goals for the future. Joy doesn’t necessarily happen overnight.  Most of the time you must do something that gets you where you want to be.  Ask yourself what makes you happy and go from there.  Sometimes it means setting a schedule for yourself that includes time for yourself, a hobby or exercise.
  5. Make it happen! Don’t give up and don’t give in to negative thoughts.  You can reach those goals and be more than “just ok.”

This is what I have been doing myself over the past month or so.  After I got the meds back on track I was still feeling “just ok” and hated it.  I knew it wasn’t the medicine, it was me and my outlook on life.  I felt I had lost my purpose.  Then a few days ago I decided no more.  No more feeling sorry for myself.  No more letting my circumstances make me miserable.  Change was going to happen if it killed me.  I’m now working toward my happiness – my deliriously happy happiness!  And believe it or not, even though I’m not where I want to be yet, I feel a whole lot better!  I’m no longer “just ok” and it feels great.

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